Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Queen of Outer Space (1958)

  'Earthmen land in 1985 on all-female Venus, run by a queen who hates men.'

Queen who hates men, already sounds like my kind of movie.
  Haha, just kidding .  However I wasn't sure how much I was going to like this movie after watching the first 10 miutes, as it was terribly boring, and I wasn't sure it was going to get better.  Then a energy force came and started destroying things and the movie started to look a bit brighter.  So they energy force Scotty'd them to Venus and they're (4 guys, ones a doctor) aircraft was destroyed.  And the atmospheric pressure on Venus was so similar to Earth's that the did not need pressure suits, which was nice, cause Eric Flemming is very nice to look at :) .  So they exit there aircraft and this 'pop-up video' type booping noise starts up, which is like a radar tracking device.  So these girls in star trek outfits capture the men and take them to there headquarters.  So the trekkies take them into a big conference type room and they meet the Queen (aka Yllana) and her Counsel, who all think there luchadoras, and wear masks, luckily these masks are pretty so I'll let it slide ( I'm more of a The-only-time-you-should-be-wearing-a-mask-is-if-your-serial-killer type of person).  So there meeting pretty much goes like this:

*start scene*
Queen: I will execute you all
*end scene*

So there sent to a room, and the moment you all have been waiting for, the first appearance of Zsa Zsa Gabor.  Now going into this movie I thought with the title having 'Queen' in it and also starring Zsa Zsa, which the opening credits made certain you knew, I thought Zsa Zsa would be playing the role of the Queen, but no, the Queen is actually played by Laurie Mitchell.  So you then find out that there are tons of conspirators against the Queen, which the conspirators are headed by Zsa Zsa' character Talleah .  Also at this time, if you have eyes, you would see that Talleah is falling all over herself on Eric Fleming's character Capt. Patterson.  The trekkie girls come into the room at this point and fetch Patterson for the Queen, who also is all over patterson, which I personally agree with , as he is very pretty.  So Patterson asks whats with the mask and Yllana kisses him and he pulls the mask off and dun dun dun

We find out the reason Yllana hates men and why she wears a mask.  On earth Yllana was burned by radiation and she blames that on men, sounds like a good enough reason for me.  Oh and also at this time we find out the the Queens servant are working on a laser beam type thing to destroy earth.  So the trekkies take him back to the room where everyone is at.  They along with Talleah and her friends (who all get with the 3 dudes...well except for doctor) escape HQ and pop-up video starts following them again, which annoys me and they get a star off of the five stars they begin with.  So they find a cave and take shelter in it and one of the guys turn a corer in the cave and meets this huge spider, that could have used some CGIing, ok it could have used a lot of CGIing, but still it was creepy looking, so they kill it.

(yeah...pretty obvious)

  So the trekkies are sent after them, Talleah and friends turn the guys in a double agent way, but in a good guy girl kinda way.  So they get back to HQ and Yllana wants to see Patterson, Patterson pimp slaps Yllana and Talleah pulls a switch-a-roo and puts Yllanas mask on, trekkies run in but they hide Yllana behind a China curtain, but then Yllana knocks it down and the whole plan is ruined. 

(Laser Beam/Death Ray)

Then it goes to all of them watching Yllana blow up earth but Talleah's friends were two steps ahead and broke the machine.  So Yllana goes into the machine (you can walk through it) and trys to fix it, but ends up making it malfunction and it blows up and she becomes a burnt skeleton. 

(you thought i was joking didn't you?)

Talleah becomes the new Queen and all the guys stay on Venus until earth funds a new mission to come retrieve them.

(Doctor and the good trekkies)


So overall this was a pretty good movie, it's a hour and a half, and it's pretty amusing.  Turner (one of the astronauts) is very funny throughout the whole movie, he keeps the movie watchable.  It had it's moments where it was hard to watch, but then it made up for it with so interesting or funny moments.

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