Wednesday, October 16, 2013

Nothing But Trouble (1991)

All they wanted was a little getaway. All they got was nothing but trouble.

I briefly remember seeing this movie when I was younger, only the roller coaster scene, and for awhile thought that scene was from Rocky Horror, until I watched RHPS a few years ago.  Since then I have been looking for it, after 11 years I finally found it!  Lets start!

We open at a party hosted by Chris, a big time financial publisher, in his penthouse in Manhattan.  On his way up to the party he runs into a neighbor, Diane, who is a lawyer, and they talk about a case that they both are involved in.  Chris invites her to the party, and she accepts, later at the party she asks if he's going to the case appointment tomorrow.  He is and they agree to go together, we meet Fausto and Renalda, who are annoying Brazilian siblings, who invite themselves to go with.  The next morning Chris, Diane, Fausto, and Renalda take off to Atlantic City, where the case appointment is.  Along the way Fausto and Renalda get bored and ask if they can take a scenic route, so they end up cutting through this town named, Valkenvania, where Chris runs a stop sign.

"Step up to the rail"

A cop goes after him, Chris is going to pull over, but Fausto and Renalda tell him that he can out run the cop, so he does.  The cop has some type of device that he presses and a sign for a detour pops up, and they head down a side road, where another cop is waiting, forcing Chris to pull over.  The first cop, Dennis, tells him he will drop the speeding charges if he follows him back to the station, so they do.   The station isn't actually a station it is a huge house sitting on a ton of land, covered in compounded cars, inside we meet Alvin, the judge, and the other cop, Miss Purdah.  Let me set this up for you, Alvin is Dennis' grandfather, and Miss Purdah is Dennis' cousin, Miss Purdah is also a bit trigger happy, while Dennis' is quite normal.

Dennis tries to get them off with just a fine, but Alvin decides he's going to hold them until tomorrow, he then presses a button and the fall into a pit of dog toys.  You think I'm kidding, I'm not.  In the pit, they all start arguing about whose fault all this is, we are then taken to another group.  This group is drinking and smoking in their car when Dennis pulls them over and proceeds to take them back to the house.  Back at the house Alvin sends them to be executed, via a rollercoaster ride named, Mr. BoneStripper, where, you guessed it, their bones are stripped.  Over in the pit, Miss Purdah comes to collect them for dinner, which is a weird looking hot dog, and ants on a log.

"Would you like a dog?"

We then meet Alvin's granddaughter, Eldona, who is John Candy in drag, he is also playing Dennis.  Eldona is a mute who has taken interest in Chris, we are then interrupted by the mine fire that is under the property causing a earthquake like sensation.  Fausto gets overwhelmed and him and Renalda jump out a window to get away, Miss Purdah then grabs her gun and starts shooting, but misses.  Miss Purdah and Dennis go after them, while Eldona escorts Chris and Diane to their room for the night.  Dennis ends up helping Fausto and Renalda escape in return for money and a way out of Valkenvania.  In Chris and Diane's room, they lay down for a few seconds, when their door magically opens, and the run out trying to find a way out. 

"She's mute"

They try a few different doors, like the bat room, the nursery, and a tombstone, before they realize the wall is moving toward them is about to crush them.  Luckily Chris finds a door which leads to an attic and they find a ton of ID's, passports, and news clippings of people they have held hostage or killed.  Since they are now trapped in the attic, they decide to flirt some more until a trap door opens, and they head out, it is also a slide that ends up separating the 2 of them.  Chris' slide sends him to Alvin's bedroom, where he see Alvin pull his nose and leg off, Diane's slide sends her out into the car graveyard.  Diane ends up running into these 2 things, named BoBo and Lil' Debbull, I don't exactly know what they are, but the look like some sort of troll thing.  Eldona almost gets a hold of Diane, but BoBo and Lil' Debbull have taken a liking to her and save her, they all then play cards. 

Alvin gets called out of bed because a new group has arrived, he leaves and Chris enters his room.  Unfortunately Alvin forgot something and Chris gets caught, he then gets propositioned to marry Eldona.  He accepts due to the fact it's the only way to get out, Chris gets handcuffed and he and Alvin head out to meet the new group, which is a group of musicians...wait is that Tupac?  Hold up, that's also Humpty Hump, holy crap, that's Digital Underground!  I swear this movie has a stellar cast!  Sorry bout that, on with the movie.  Alvin ends up having them play for him, and then he lets them go, but first they have to play the wedding march for Eldona and Chris' wedding, which is now.  Alvin marries them, and as Digital Underground leaves, Chris tries to get them to take him with, but they get their signs mixed up.

"Let's go before he changes his mind"

After DU leaves, Chris is sent on Mr. BoneStripper, as he has made Alvin and Eldona angry, the roller coaster ends up having a malfunction, meaning Chris doesn't get killed.  Chris ends up in the car graveyard, he then starts making his way off the property, when Alvin comes over a loud speaker.  Alvin now has Diane, and is going to cut her into pieces if Chris doesn't come by the count of 10.  He does come, and he manages to save Diane and get away on a train, Chris and Diane then head to the police, and the police tell them they have to come with to identify them, so they do.  Unfortunately, Alvin knows the cops, and they are trapped again, luckily the mine fire bursts and they manage to get away.

"We're not allowed in the house"

We are then transported to Brazil where Fausto, Renalda, and Dennis are, Dennis is now their bodyguard, and he is dating Renalda. Over at Chris' place, Chris is watching the news when the story of the mine fire comes up.  The reporter on scene asks how it feels to have lost his home, it's Alvin, he says it's ok because his whole family managed to get out.  He then mentions that he is going to move in with his grandson in law, Chris, and shows the camera the license that he still has.

The End.

I saw a lot of bad reviews on this, and I don't understand why, I liked it, I thought it was really funny too.  Plus, this movie had an amazing cast, John Candy, Chevy Chase, Tupac, Digital Underground, Taylor Negron, Dan Aykroyd, and Demi Moore!  Tell me what you think of the movie in the comments, on Twitter (@SilentToHughes) or on Facebook (

Hope you all have a great night!

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