Monday, July 1, 2013

Tales From The Crypt "Lover Come Hack To Me" (1989)

It's good to have you back, you horror hungry humans!

We open at a Justice Of the Peace, and we meet Peggy and Charles, the newly married couple.  Edith, Peggy's aunt, tries to stop Peggy from going through with this and that Charles only loves her for the money that her mom left her.  Charles confirms this to Edith, and they leave for the honeymoon. 

Peggy and Charles are traveling down the road, and it is now raining, when they come across a tree down.  Charlie reaches in the glove box for the flashlight, and finds a gun, both deny knowing where it came from.  Charles tries to pick the tree up, but fails, however he see a huge house beyond the tree.  They find a key outside of the house, and go in, Peggy tries the phone, but no ones lived there in awhile, so it doesn't work.

I would like to take a moment and tell you that I honestly was wondering where this episode was going.  From the start of this episode, it seemed to be playing out like Rocky Horror Picture Show, except for aunt Edith, but same type of things seemed to be happening, anyways back to the episode!

"Probably someone's mother-in-law, get it?  Old battle axe! Like Aunt Edith"

Once in the main room, the see a Battle Axe above the fireplace, and what seems to be freshly laid wood, they light the fire.  Both proceed to change into drier clothes, and start to make out, but Peggy wants this night to be perfect, and they head upstairs to find a bed.  Upstairs, they find a bed that looks like it was just put together, and a ton of candles everywhere.  Peggy goes to freshen up while Charles lights the candles.  In the bathroom we see Peggy transforming in to a bombshell, back in the room, Charles puts the gun on the bedside table. 

Charles is laying in bed when Peggy comes out, his jaw drops, Peggy tells him she's a virgin, and they have sex.  While this is going on, we keep getting glimpses of the clock in the hallway, that seems to still work, once they're done, the glass of the clocks face shatters.  Afterwards, Peggy tell Charles that they made a child, and tells him that this is as perfect as it will ever get, and Charles falls asleep. 

Awhile later, Charles wakes up, to see Peggy in the front yard meeting a guy, Charles goes downstairs and see the two of them together.  Peggy tells this guy that she doesn't want to go to the bed, but on the couch, so that it's really perfect.  Charles seems to have a bit of a breakdown, before remembering that he doesn't actually love her just her money.  We go back to Peggy and the guy, who we now know as Allen, and Peggy tells him that they made a little girl, same as she told Charles.

"Don't you think Peggy would be a nice name for our little girl?"

Charles goes back to the main room, and we see Peggy telling Allen that they're love is complete, and that's how love should be, before it spoils, and that she's going to preserve it for always.  Peggy reaches for the axe, and hacks Allen up, Charles tries to stop, but ends up going right through her.  Turns out Peggy and Allen are both ghosts, it also dawns on Charles that Allen was Peggy's dad's name.  That Allen had died before Peggy was born, he died on the wedding night, also the night Peggy was conceived, meaning Peggy's mom killed Peggy's dad.  Peggy's mom kisses Allen, and asks if Peggy would be a good name for they're daughter, which is an awesome scene, cause there is blood dripping off of her lips.

Charles begs for this to be a dream, and it is, he wakes up and Peggy is beside him.  Peggy heads to the bathroom to get him a washcloth, and Charles tells her about his dream.  Peggy's says that's weird, because that is exactly what happened that night, and reaches behind the bathroom door and retrieves the axe.  Peggy inches closer and closer to Charles telling him that she wants a love like theres, a perfect love. 

"Sleep tight, Charles"

Charles reaches for the gun, and tells Peggy that he doesn't love her, Peggy denies it and says that if he never loved her then he would shoot her.  Charles pulls the trigger and nothing, on the bedside table we see the bullets lined in a row.  Peggy hacks him up in one of the best scenes I have ever seen, Peggy is covered in blood, and its dripping off of her.  I should probably tell you that I'm a gore girl, like the more blood and gore a movie has the better I like it.

The next morning Edith arrives at the house, and we find out that Edith is most likely in on all of this.  Peggy tells her that she's going to have a little girl, and Edith tells her no more men, but Peggy says that her little girl will need one and Edith agrees.

The End
This has to be one of the best ones I have seen, definitely my favorite so far.
Hope you all have a great night!

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